Like Father, Like Son

Sorry for the slightly inappropriate half nude picture, but it was too funny not to share!

We usually find him here if he's been gone for a while or has been quiet for too long.

And Dez usually has the lights turned off as well and will lock the door behind him (exactly like Gabe)!

Oh, these boys I live with are too funny.

You Know You're A Mother When...

... You find a mystery item/stain on your shirt/pants/face/arm and the first thing you think is NOT, "Ew! What is this??" Instead it's, "Hmmm. I wonder how long that's been there."

... You are completely immune to vomit, snot, poop, and pee being hurled, thrown, or splashed in your direction. You just accept it. Like a precious gift given to you. It doesn't even phase you to get thrown up on.

... You eat cold food. All day, every day. It's cold.

... Or, you eat huge massive bites of scalding hot food because you're shoveling it down your throat because your one year old is about to stick his hand in the toilet.

... You can't even poop in peace. Even when you shut the door, lock it, and turn out the lights. It doesn't matter. The kid's radars know exactly where you are and what you are doing. You will not have two minutes to yourself.

Which leads me to this awesome picture....

Which is SO completely true in our house. And makes me wonder... Does it really take 30 minutes to poop? Really?? I can poop in well under 5 minutes. Well, I guess I kinda learned to....

... You get to go to the grocery store alone with Husband. This is a date.

... You get to go to Target alone with Husband. This is an awesome date!

... You silently think "Yesssssssss!" when older boy requests a peanut butter and jelly for lunch because let's face it, you eat the same things as your preschooler and turkey and cheese is getting really old.

... You give in to your 4 year old's request and give him control of Netflix on "No Electronics Day" because you're dying to know what's going on in Facebook world. Or maybe you just want to close your eyes on the couch for 5 minutes.

... You give yourself a time out and hide out in the darkness of the boy's room to eat that cookie that you've been hiding because you absolutely do not want to share. And you just need a time out.

... You have to run errands and have to hurry before little boy's nap. So you frantically put together older boy's lunch to eat in the car, specially make little boy's lunch to eat once you're there, put together a snack bag for tantrum/meltdown moments, get each boy's special drink bottle, get everyone in the car, drive down the road and then realize you didn't even feed yourself. You didn't even pack yourself a snack.

... You all wear your pajamas until 2 or 3 in the afternoon. This is normal. In fact when older boy gets dressed before this he always asks, "Hey! Where are we going??" in a super excited voice. Nowhere, buddy. We're just getting dressed like normal civilized people. That's what they do.

...Your hands still smell like that poop diaper you changed an hour ago. Even after washing your hands twice. And putting on lotion.

...All these things completely don't matter because as soon as little boy wakes up from his nap you are the first thing he sees and his face and eyes just turn into a pure mask of happiness like you are the coolest thing he's seen all day. And like when older boy wakes up in the morning and walks out of his room and sees you and gets a big grin on his face also and says, "Oh! Good morning Momma! Did you sleep good this night?" That's when you know. That's when you know how awesome it is to be a mother.

The Incident

This particular story happened a week or two ago. It's still a sore subject. But, I must share it with you to fully get over it.

So a couple of weeks ago Gabe went out of town. Again. For another week. I was left alone with the boys once more. No worries. I did it for 5 weeks, I can do it again!

On one of these days I had to run some errands. So I loaded the boys up into the good ol' mini van and we set off on our way.

For some of these errands I had to leave the boys in the car. I absolutely hate doing this. I feel like people would judge me or call the police for child abuse or something. But I just had to.

My car has a cool feature in it that allows me to lock all the doors except for my own. So when I get out, I lock the doors and feel somewhat secure knowing that my children are half-locked in at least. Then, when I return to the car, my door stays unlocked and I hop right on in!

Just to let you know, I only do this when it is absolutely necessary! (And I always leave the car running!) Like when I had to run into the bank's ATM because the bank itself was closed already.

Or, like when I had to run into a friend's house to pick up our dog who had stayed there for a few days. Desmond was asleep so I just left him and Dax inside so I could be quick.

Only this time my car decided that all the doors must be locked this one and only time. ALL the doors!!

ALL THE DOORS!!

Oh my word. Panic mode sets in. I try to go through all the possibilities of what I can do to get back inside.

Break the door off? Yeah I could probly do that but how would I drive home with one door gone?
No, next idea....

Roll the window down from the outside with my bare hands? Yes! I can do that! (I really did try this technique.)
Ok, no, I cannot.

OK, I'll just wake up Desmond. He kinda knows how to get out of his car seat. Sort of...

Tap, tap, tap. "Desmond! Hey, Desmond! Wake up! I need you to do something for me!"

Desmond peers through one eye and, seeing nothing unusual turns his head and goes back to sleep.

"Desmond!! NO! Wake up! I need you to do something important!"

Dez opens his eyes a second time, gives me a dirty look for disturbing him and closes his eyes once again.

BANG, BANG, BANG! "DESMOND! Wake uppppppp!!!! NOW!"

(Meanwhile Dax is having a good time watching me play this new game with his brother.)

"Whaaaaaaaat."

"Ok, Desmond I need you get out of your car seat and unlock this door. See this little knob? I need you to pull it up to unlock the door. Ok?"

Desmond just stares at me as if I didn't say anything at all. I might as well have spoken Spanish for all the attention he paid me. He was looking at me but that's about it. I swear my words didn't even reach his ears, let alone his brain.

"Desmond!! Get out of your car seat! Unlock the door now!!"

For the record, Desmond ALWAYS unlocks the top part of his car seat when he is supposed to. We have a routine. When we get home, before I even turn off the car, I turn around and undo the bottom button and he undoes the top. Always. Every time.

Except this time. Apparently he completely forgot how to do this trick. Which, at the moment, is the only thing standing in our way of having the doors be unlocked. Desmond has completely forgotten how to get himself out.

I try, using big hands and big motions, to show him exactly what to do. But he still continues to stare. And he does nothing else.

Now normally at this point any mother would be thinking, "Oh my goodness. My poor children! They are locked in the car and it's all my fault! They are just sitting there wondering why they are sitting there and not out here with me! I am a horrible mother!!"

Not me. In fact, my thoughts were along the lines of, "Oh my word!! Desmond!! Seriously?!?!? Are you retarded??! Can you not understand what is going on?? All you're going to do is STARE?!? SERIOUSLY?!"

Yes, it's true. This is when the insane anger rages through me. I start crazily banging on the window (with some screaming mixed in) so that maybe some sense would snap into Dez's brain. But that doesn't help. He just starts crying. Which makes Dax cry. Which makes me even more frantic.  I am sersiously about to lose it.

I swear something must be wrong with my brain because I feel no sympathy for my children (Ahem..the older one..) at this point. My friend graciously (and a bit nervously) stepped in to help.

"Uhhh.. why don't you go inside call someone to pop the lock. Maybe I can get Desmond to cooperate. Uhhh ...Ok?"

Um, good idea, because I am about two fist bangs away from breaking the window myself.

I go upstairs to their apartment to find a slightly hysterical friend clutching her newborn baby with the look on her face as if her neighborhood were being attacked by a band of gang members. She was very alarmed to find out it was only just me.

I call my insurance (on my friend's phone because mine is locked in the car) to see if we're covered for roadside assistance. We are! That's good because I literally just spend the remainder of our money at Target. The insurance guy tells me the Pop-a-Lock service will call me to give me their number and a time on when they are going to get here. Oh my God, praise Jesus. This will all be over soon.  The Pop-a-Lock people call me within minutes. Good, because I need to tell them to hurry their asses up because I have two children under the age of four in the car. Except it's an automated operator calling. I cannot talk to a machine. The machine then tells me that their people will not be coming for another 40 minutes.

Craaaaaaaaaapppppppp. (Expect I used another choice word)

I call Gabe who cannot help in any way at all. He's in another state. I call my dad. He has things to unlock doors. He doesn't answer. I call my mom. She doesn't answer. I don't know why I called her in the first place. There's nothing she could have done either.

I resort to going back downstairs to start all over again with Desmond. Desmond is our only hope.

I go down to see both my friends, one on either side of the car each with their own boy, entertaining them both the best they can. Dax is not having it. He is not amused. He just saw scary Momma and is pretty distraught by her. Desmond seems to be having a good time.

I try again. This time considerably more calmly. Something clicks in his head. You want me to get out?? OH! Well ok! Why didn't you just say so? Geez.

He finally understands what we have been telling him this whole time. He finally gets out of his car seat just enough to stretch across and pull the lock up. And then finally is able to get out of the car.

It's a good thing my friends were there because the moment Desmond was out of the car I was ready to smack him across the head but they immediately praised him instead. (Which is what I should have done, I guess. I was high on adrenaline and craziness. That is my excuse.)

"Desmond! You did it! You saved you and your brother! You are a hero!! Such a good job!"

All while Desmond has a smug look on his face like, yeah, I AM pretty awesome.

All while I'm thinking, "You've GOT to be kidding me. If we were in a life or death situation and our lives were in Dez's hands, we would surely be dead in 5 minutes."

Fun Family Day

We love to stay home. Stay home and enjoy each others company. But sometimes we have to get out or we'll go crazy.

So, on Sunday we decided to hit ol' Beaumont for the day. 

Is it sad that's the only place to go around here to have fun? Yes, it is. Is it even sadder that we take the boys to the pet store as a replacement for the zoo? Yes, it is.

Anyway, the boys didn't complain. They had a blast! And so did me and Gabe!

(Sorry if you follow me on Facebook or Instagram!)

Dez couldn't quite figure out how to successfully roll the ball.

Very curious to see the outcome.

Isn't it cute that they match? :)

Checking out the selection.

Reading his favorite books

Yep this is looks good. Very educational.

Such a good Dad. I couldn't ask for a better one. 

Honesty

1. Me and Gabe went on what I like to call our 24 hour date. We got out of town, stayed in a hotel, and relaxed for a whole day and night. I didn't think about our kids the entire time. I knew they were in good hands so I didn't even worry about them. I didn't even want to buy them things while we were out. It was nice to have my brain relax for a bit. Honestly, I don't feel bad about it.

2. I stole a pair of shoes. (I didn't mean to!!) While I was trying on some things at a store, somehow they fell into a bag of previously purchased items. They were folded up ballet flats so they were easily hide-able. When we got back to the hotel and noticed our felony, I just looked at them and though, "Meh, I spent enough money in that store. I'm not going back to pay for them. They're staying here with me."  Honestly, I don't feel bad about it.

3. Gabe made me try on and buy a pair of yoga pants. My definition of yoga pants is socially acceptable leggings. They are tiiiiiiiiiight!! But Gabe assured me they look good and, well, they are pretty comfy. So if Gabe's being honest and telling the truth about how he's never seen anyone else look as good in yoga pants then me well then dangit I'm gonna wear em. (Such a nice husband to tell such sweet reassuring lies!)

4. We moved Dax's crib into Desmond's room yesterday. I could not be happier! We have our room back! In the past 4 years we've had our room completely to ourselves for a total of about 6 months. Now we can turn on the TV without closed captioning! Turn up the volume! Or  I can yell to Gabe to get me a drink from downstairs! Or cough loudly in my sleep! I'm not sad to see Dax go, I'll be honest. He's excited about the move too.

5. I drank whiskey the other night. Me and Gabe have been feeling very under the weather. We were running out of medicines to try. None of them helped. We were running out of natural remedies to try also. We had no other options left! We were desperate! So.... We made ourselves a hot toddy. It was disgusting. And it didn't help in the least. I honestly don't know why people drink. Bleh!

One Year Old!

Oh, my.

I have a one year old! I don't have a baby anymore! Dax is practically a toddler!

I just can't bring myself to believe it.

Here's what Dax is doing at 12 months:

1. Walking! He still crawls but his main form of going from here to there is taking carefully thought out steps. It's the funniest thing seeing such a mini person doing such grown up things!

2. Talking! He can say uh oh! and no and on occasion, mama but usually when I'm not around and when he's crying. He can also say dada but we're not sure if it's just babble or an actual word.

3. Speaking of babbling, he does. It's the cutest thing. You can tell he's saying something that makes sense in his mind and comes out as gibberish sentences.

4. He does everything that Dez does. Dez showering? He'll go in too. (Fully clothed, I might add!) Dez playing with blocks? Dax will be there knocking them down playing too! Reading books? He'll grab his own.

5. Clings to me. As in he will pull my pants down if I don't pick him up right this second!! He can't stand it when I walk a few feet away. I can't even turn my back without a whimper!

6. He mimics the things we do. Give him a brush and he'll try to brush his hair. He even finds where I keep the broom and does an excellent job of attempting to sweep the floor!

7. He smiles and laughs when I put on his favorite Baby Einstein. He knows it's coming even before it starts! He cannot contain his excitement!

8. He dances when he hears good music.

9. When we went to his one year check up at the doctor he weighed 21 lbs 13 oz.

10. He's starting to give mean faces to Gabe. Which is very funny because that's exactly what Dez did at this age. We're not sure why, but he does!

We love this boy so much and are so glad he is a part of our lives!



Did you know we didn't mean to get pregnant with Dax? He was a complete suprise!